where do i begin? well on friday night i left to spend the weekend at my boyfriend’s house. I stayed there till monday (yesterday) it was great spending time with him just doing nothing but watching tv but i love doing that with him. it helps relax me and him. so we watch this show called big love on hbo. so we decided since he had to drop me off at home he might as well stay here and watch it with me. so we get to my house and we go to my room to watch it. we were watching it and my mom calls me from the house phone and tells me your were gone for 3 days and than come back and julio is up in your room. u know he shouldn’t cuz ur stepfather is takign crap and bla bla. so than i’m like so i can’t even watch fucking tv in my own room and hang up on her. so i tell my b/f and i walk him out. at this point i’m pissed off so i come back inside and i go to my mom what is your problem? she is like oh he isn’t suppose to be in your room thats wrong and i’ve put up with it enough. Supposely the ONE who DIDN”T like Him going to my room was my STEPFATHER but obviously not. so i’m like well if it was one of my brothers u wouldn’t say shit and she says ya cuz there are guys and whatever and i’m like thats bullshit. than i’m like ok i need the money that my stepfather owes me [he has own me money for about a year now] cuz i have to pay my phone at this point i’m crying out of anger and she is like oh don’t start that shit again ur just pissed off cuz i threw ur b/f out. i’m like no i need the money u sit there and don’t say shit to my stepfather when he buys my lil brother crap knowing he owns me money and i need to pay my bills.and i’m like don’t worry i’ll tell julio not to come over anymore only to pick me up and drop me off and if he comes to see me we will go to the park or stay outside. so i leave mad and go to room and call my b/f and just told him everything than he had another call and he told he was gonna call me back and i’m like ok. so i go to her room and tell her someone ate all my work snacks that i had in my room [ i take the to work]. so than she is like oh i’ll replace them and i’m, like forget it i just want my money to pay my phone and she goes oh why don’t u tell julio to pay for your phone since ur giving it up {she was talking about sex}. i got more upset and mad and i go so your calling me a prostitute now and i left her room and go to mine than she comes in and is like oh i didn’t call u that i was saying since he is your b/f he should help u when u need help. i’m like he doesn’t even have money for gas and thani say either way if i that has nothing to do with me having a b/f. than i told her i lend him money cuz u told me he was gonna give it back to me in a week and u knew i didn’t want to lend him money and i didn either way so don’t give me that bullshit. and she is like ur right and i said u know i’m right now get out of my room and she left. so julio called me back and i told him what happen and he is like oh come to my house come stay here and i’m like ok. Honestly i felt so uncomfortable and unwanted in my own house that i had to leave i couldn’t stand being here and i couldn’t stop crying. i got my stuff and left and she didn’t even notice till 1 am that she called me and asked me where i was and i said i told her the truth i don’t feel comfortable there so im at a friends house. how am i suppose to get better when my own mother makes me feel like shit and doesn’t even try to understand my depression. my depression is mostly her fault cuz of how my childhood was. but i never say anything cuz i don’t want to hurt her feelings but my brothers they do the worst shit and she says nothing to them. i’m tired of her saying crap and treating me bad cuz i’m the only fucking girl. it so sexist and retarded i do way more shit for her than my brothers ever do. when i got to julios house him and his lil sister made everything possible to make me happy but when him and i went to sleep i couldn’t stop crying cuz i was so upset. how am i suppose to fight this depression when even in my own house i’m getting yelled at and called names. i don’t knwo how i’m ever gonna get better with no support from my own fucking mother.:sad:well i came home today and she hasn’t talk to me and i don’t care. i’m still upset and i don’t want to be here but i got no where else to go. so i’m just going to lock myself in my room. 🙁

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