Well some of you read my most recent blog explaining how I was going to tell my mom. She replied with a text message because internet at our house was down and I wouldn't have been able to check my e-mail. She offered we could walk around the track at the college- which is where we had most of our toughest and most secret discussions- and that she wouldn't make any references to me she would tell me about my dads side of the families history of many different types of depression and anxiety. I didn't have to talk and for the first 2 miles that we walked I didnt. But after she told me about my dads chemical embalance and other people in his families anxiety and depression I found my self opening up to her. I told her a little about DT although she said she wouldn't pry even though she is overly paranoid about people on the internet she understood this was my thing ad that you all have helped me over the past 3 years to gain courage to tell her. And yes it was due to almost every blog and profile page adn supporting comment that got me to this point so thanks to all who have commented or friended me =)
After I described what I felt and when My depressionwas triggered she was telling me it sounded more like anxiety to her but theyare both so close that itis hard to tell. So todaywe are making a doctors apointment and I will go withher and since itsmy dads doctor with himas well. My dad knows buthasn't talked to me aboutit yet because I hid behind my hair when mom and Italked about it and Istill hide behing my hair(thank god I decided to grow it out instead of cutting itoff!) and dad told momhe wonttalkto me about it until I am ready. But I guess I would rather mom me and dad all talk aboout it together maybe on the car ride to the doctors or something because telling one person was hard enough already.
Anyways I willkeep updating this just to clue youin on whats going on and to repeatedly thank everyone who has helped me get to this kind of happier but really really scary point in my life. I guess thenext step is finding out if I have depression or anxiety andd what type! But so far ive been happier just knowing theyknow…not to say that loomingdreadful feeling is gone but knowing i am going to get help adn hopefully start feeling better is a plus.