Am I actually making a blog post from my phone? I can't get out of bed today matter of fact I've been in bed for almost 24 hours. Guys I don't know why my body is giving up on me, but I just can't even function. My family and I decided to make a Facebook rant about our side of the story after a 2 year long battle with our family and needing to get the truth out they begged I posted and now everyone knows how messed up I am and my life is. The amazing guy friend I am falling for told me he liked me but he wished I lived closer, but is all about another girl and I'm just sincerely trying to find ways to be unattracted to him and just be a good friend but he unintentionally keeps breaking my heart not that I am gonna say anything he deserves to be happy. I don't feel good enough for him everything about me and my life is a complicated mess. He absolutely will not hear of it, is always worried about me and cares so much he is a true friend. So I'm not gonna remove him from my life, neither of us deserve to be hurt like that. I am having non stop panic attacks, the hyper vigilance is awful I can hardly see straight, I just sit and stare while my thoughts rapidly go out of control. I feel like I did in the beginning. I have so much stuff suppressed and so many thinking errors I feel like I'll never get better. There isn't a treatment for me, I'm not suicidal even I still have gastritis/esophagitis whatever the heck and I'm sick on top of all this. It's just raining disaster over me and my body doesn't want to function at this point. What do I do?!