I am a mere 18 years old. i am offically an adult but, still called a child. I live with my mom and stepdad and my parents are divorced. i have 4 siblings: an older step-sister (somewhere we dont know anymore), 3 older brothers, twins are my blood brothers, and my step brother who died when i was 15 and he was 19. my step brother died in a car crash very sudden and tramatic. i live in a house with many rooms and thin walls. my room is downstairs and my hideaway. my mom is a cleaning lady and my dad works with batteries and makes a very well living. my home parents are currently in debt probably about 100 grand by now because of my step sister's college loans (she stopped paying and got pregnant). well now my home life is pretty much borderlinehell.

i live in a small town with many back roads and places to get lost. in my highschool there is about 700 kids. i am a senior but want to graduate early even though the early graduation date was janurary. i am a smart person however i have mediocre grades and i regret many many things in my school career. i wish i applied myself, forced myself to be involved with more sports or national honors society. i cant change it now and i am ready to leave highschool forever. this year has been anxiety filled and i havent felt this way in many years.

so now i dont go anymore. i have all my credits needed and i am trying to make the school let me graduate early. i will go to community college in the fall for the visual arts program for ceramics. i will only spend one semester there because my boyfriend and i are going to live on an airforce base possibly in janurary and i cant wait to leave and live my life with him because he truely loves everything about me <3.

i write because i suffer from anxiety and depression.