I tell you I don’t love you. You continue to bother me. I know we have two kids but please please please let me be! I want to be nice I don’t want to be mean. But you are making me want to be mean because you won’t leave me alone!! I want to tell you how much I hate you! I want to tell you how ugly you are to me! I want to tell you that no future relationship that you will have with any woman will never work because you are not over me! I want you to stop giving me letters telling me how much you love me then how much you hate me. STOP IT STOP IT!!! No more! I can’t take it! I read the lyrics of the CD you gave me. You are a mean person! You are trying to hurt me on purpose! I don’t care if you go out on dates. I want you to so you will leave me the hell alone! But don’t rub it in my face! You don’t want me to have sex with anyone until the divorce is final. But what about you cheating on me a few days AFTER I told you that I was pregnant with our first child! WHY?!?!?! So why do you put resrictions on me! I hate you! I hate you! I fucking hate your guts! I went to the hospital last week because I felt mentally unstable! I felt I was going to hurt myself or someone. That someone being YOU! I want you to go away! Far away! I want you gone! You are shallow! You don’t know what love is. You can’t base love on looks. I feel badly for our children sitting on the sidelines watching your immaturity! Stop telling the kids that we are going to get back together. We aren’t! It’s a mixed message for them! Don’t do it! Don’t play fucking games with me and try to foul up my plans on purpose! You are a fucker! I hate you!
Why don’t you get it?
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I’m sorry you are going through such a difficult time. I can’t imagine the frustration. It’s good that you were able to recognize that you were feeling unstable about things and sought help right away — that’s the sign of a strong person. (o: (I know it might not feel like that right now though).
I wish I had some good suggestions for you. I do know there are a lot of message boards and such out there for divorced people and single parents and such. Maybe someone on one of those boards could give you some tips as to how to deal with his inability to “let go”. You are right, it’s not good for your kids either, and I would personally let the judge and your lawyer and such know he is doing this to you and the kids, too.
I wish you the best of luck with this situation. I hope he stops hurting you like this…
Hugs,
~*~ Tangeloper ~*~
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