So I had some kind of attacktoday. I've never experienced it before. I don't really know the differance between panic attack and anxiety attacks though.
I was in Pre-Cal today and I wasn't there two classes before this one right? And I was doing a worksheet (which was due at the end of class) that they had done the class I wasn't there over notes that I didn't have. So I was online, looking over the notes (because my teacher postes them online) and just…. There was so much writing, and I didn't know what it all meant and I had like thirty minutes left to do the paper and I thought I was never going to learn any of this material… And it just hit me like a train. I felt the sudden urge to run far away from the class and just keep running. My hands wouldn't stop shaking and trying to breathe… it was so difficult. My stomach just dropped and it was difficult to swallow because i felt like I was going to hurl.After that, I couldn't focus (which was okay because there was like 20 minutes left and let's be honest, I was barely doing much before hand in the first place) and was totally out of it.
Class ended and I was thanking all the lords that school was over. I glided by till I got home (the bus didn't help by the way) and like it took me forever just to get through my door because I dropped the keys, which I almost started crying because of this,and the key wouldn't go in the holes because my hands were shaking too bad. Once through the door though, I just let it all out… I was shaking completely at that point and was struggling for breath for thirty minutes, getting dizzy and lightheaded after a while. It was the worst feeling. Eventually I fully recovered to the point that I could do normal things. But my right hand would NOT STOP SHAKING for the longest freaking time.
I don't know how people do that on a normal basis. I thought depression was bad. I mean don't get me wrong, it is. But that was bad as well. It was frightening. I thought the world was going to end at a couple points. And I didn't know if I was ever going to feel the same again. It was frightening and I totally hated it.