So I’ve survived work for seven days, and now I need to try and get through another four more. I think I’m starting to find my legs again at work but my job keeps changing from day to day. One day I’m focusing on long term issues, then I’m getting harassed by half the managers on site for a project that has been handballed to me after it failed, and now it looks like I’ll end my swing back at operations level – scheduling and digging dirt with my old crew.

Coming back from a month of annual leave and combined with my mood swings this has been a very interesting week. I found out today that I have to stay back a few extra days to cover for somebody who is sick, which normally I would be ok with but this time it really hurts. I’m not sure whether it’s recovering from my annual leave, or just the new job but I don’t feel my efforts are valued at all by my co-workers.

I haven’t done the role I am covering for in over two years, and another person who can do the role gets to go home on time. The reason? The other person has a family. The other person has something to go home to. In a way I’m glad I’m flying back on Saturday morning because it means I don’t have to struggle through another Friday night at home by myself. I have nothing to go home to. To be honest I wouldn’t mind working for a few weeks straight and then taking a chunk of time off work so I can go travelling somewhere. There’s nothing for me at home, so there’s no point going back to the same place week after week.

It might just be the thought of returning home that has thrown me into this mood. I was going to start trying to organise my time off tonight. Call up some old mates, see if I can do something constructive with my spare time etc. etc. There’s not much point now. It will be another three weeks before I manage to get any decent time off. Another three weeks where my social life will stagnate.

 My work life continues to torment me. I can’t afford to feign interest in my job, people will jump on it straight away and make life even harder for me. It’s a good thing to be surrounded by hard working people – they keep you honest about your work ethic.

And mine is messed up.