It's been a while, but nothing new to report really. We still aren't really talking but she was at least neutral at the last appointment. She didn't seem like a girlfriend or an ex, more like a friend who's appointment I offered to go to. We found out we're having a boy, much to the tech's surprise and our own. The tech was very surprised we were able to find out the gender so soon but as soon as she started the ultrasound she was getting flashed. That's my boy haha! He's got good taste too, the tech was quite attractive lol. The lawyer idea was a bust for now. He said "you screwed and got screwed". He's that kind of lawyer lol. There isn't anything that can be done until the baby is born, and he said to leave the weed thing alone until the baby is born, then if we have proof or thetest after birth comes back positive we can go after her. She can't get support if we have joint 50/50 custody sot hat was a huge weight off my shoulders, but renting my grandfather's partially finished basement doesn't count as a stable home for custody so that's a big black mark against me if I tried to fight for sole custody. Finding a job that will be worth doing and works around my 2nd shift manufacturing job isn't easy at all so that's hindering my finances at the moment.

I've been spending a fair amount of time with a friend from 3 years ago who is married and has a 16mo daughter I've nicknamed Taz. She can sweep through a room and find anything that isn't glued down and throw it somewhere lol. We get along really well and her daughter loves me for some reason. It feels a little awkward having someone else's kid walk over to me and want me to pick her up, but I guess I pay more attention to her than her own father. There's some issues there that I won't get in to right now, but let's just say things aren't the greatest at home and we've probably come back into each others lives now for a reason. She had some complications while giving birth to her daughter and was fixed but she still wants another baby. I'm having one, so maybe this is fate? Who knows. There are a lot of coincidences popping up in this rekindled friendship that almost seem too coincidental. Not in a bad way either and not obvious things that could be planned. I could be looking for anything that looks like a sign too .

I figured out a couple nights ago why I got so depressed over the breakup – I was looking at her as my wife and the relationship like a marriage since I figured we'd be together for the rest of our lives thanks to having a child together. If I'd looked at her as just a womanI dated for a couple months, got pregnant, and she left me, I could've saved myself a LOT of grief. Live and learn, right?

That's it for the update. I uploaded the best image we got today so there's more to look at.