Depression, where to begin and where to go? i am a stay at home mother in a middle lower class family, so medicaid helps with everything except any form of therapy that we cannot afford to pay out of pocket. so here i am striving everyday and struggling most to make my life better. I was diagnosed at 13 with depression, bi-polar and ADD. i have been on more meds than an average pharmacy, only one of them ever seemed to help but that ended when i became pregnant with my son and got medicaid and now the option of meds is out. somedays i cant even pretend to want to crawl out of bed, but eventually i do knowing my son whose 10months old needs me and i cant let him hurt or be alone. my days are all the same, get out of bed, wake/feed baby hide in the basement with him until nap time, put him down, clean the basement (we currently live in my father in laws basement thanks to our home we rented being forclosed on…) paint, get son from nap feed change do the baby thing. play with him then my fiancee gets home, watch tv with him, and one of us will make dinner, put baby down for bed, "hang out" wit fiancee and then lay out his clothes for the morning and go to bed. its a very repetative cycle. the saddest part about it is that its comfortable only because theres a reutine. the painting started recently and i forced myself after a giant emotional break down to start. until recently i havent been able to hold a pencil artistically in 6 years. and its the only thing keeping me afloat. right now im painting a series of pictures to help me work out the…emotions.. connected to bad events in my past, that ive never worked at. im making a painting for each one. i dont know what else to write…


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