I have about thirty minutes until I have to be in Ancient History. Yeah. I hate Mondays. I have to wake up at 5:30, sometimes earlier, so that I can get ready AND deal with my anxiety before getting there. I couldn't really sleep last night, which is hell when I have to be up early. I fell asleep while watching May on IFC. It's sort of funny how that movie reminds me of myself, though I don't talk to a doll in a glass case. Anyway, I fell asleep just before 10:00 pm and woke up two times during the night. Then woke up at 4 in the morning and couldn't get back to sleep. Finally, I just got up right after 5:00 am and went to get ready. Now, I'm sitting here all anxious as usual. I really wish I could stay home, but I've used up my three absent days already and any days I miss now will result in half a grade being taken away, so if I want to pass, I have to go until the end of the semester, which isn't long off. Not that I'm doing bad in the class. Right now, I'm holding an A-, so I guess half a grade wouldn't kill it, but still…

Yesterday being Sunday, my family cooked a HUGE meal. I ate a bit, as I wasn't really hungry. I hardly ever eat on the days before I go to school. Anyway, there was a cake made and ice cream and I opted to have a small thing of yogurt. Of course, everyone's like, "She'll be eating nothing in a few days and be dead." I need to lose weight, first of all, so I doubt I'm going to die from not eating cake and ice cream. If you eat too much at a meal, my family talks, if you eat too little, my family talks. I'm like, make up your mind. Everyone in my family needs to lose weight, really, and my aunt who recently hit over the 300 pound mark has been accepted to do bypass surgery to lose weight. I guess that's okay and all, but I'd rather not have that. My mom's even thinking about getting it and she's not over 300 pounds, barely near it. I think she's like 250-something. Anyway, I've been thinking of cutting a lot of extra sugar out of my diet. Just water and sometimes juices. I don't really need soda, do I? Nope. Anyway, I've postponed enough. I've got to be on my way to the runway. I mean, to school. I plan on being just late enough that I don't have to walk down the hall with everyone there. Sometimes, I have no idea how I do it twice a week.




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