So I hear on a commercial today that the human has at least 3000 thoughts a day and for the past few weeks I feel that the majority of my thoughts have been justfocused on a few negetive thoughts that repeat over and over and over. I don't want them but they keep surfacing and wont leave. They spin around in my head and just keep going. I keep myself busy with other things but the moment I stop these thoughts come back and start to spin. Then it seems to take forever to start to do something else so that I can get the thoughts to stop momentarily again. I don't like this. I want these thoughts to stop so that I don't have to take so much time to get going again. I feel like I spend so much time just trying to get going that I don't have much time to actually go anywhere in life.
1. I feel like my mother could care less about me. I feel guilty because I moved so far away but I know if I lived next door she wouldn't come over to my house and have coffee with me and this makes me so sad. So part of me knows I need to live my life but I still want my mother's love and attention. I have brougth this up to her before and she always has lame excues that she isn't good at making phone calls and she has trouble with the time differences. So she wont try at all. It hurts deep and this has gone on for years.
2. Since my move I feel lonely I moved to a new area which is beautiful but hard to meet people and being depressed doesn't help. It is a hard catch 22. Everyone I have met is part of a couple so I always feel 3rd person out
3. My brother is hooked up with a girl who is bringing him down and now he is hooked up with her for at least 18 yearsbecause they are pregnant. I feel he failed and since he is my one and only hero he failed me.
4. I feel like I am always going to be alone and all Iwant is love true passionate love in my life. I don't feel i will everhave it.
5. I am lazy and never do anything. I am a lazy lazy person
These are the basic thoughts that spin in my head over and overor different varations ofthem.
