Hello Girls and Guys <–oops thats huge!! lol!!
Anyways, just thought I would give you an update. I couldn't believe it, was in therapy last Thursday replying to her questions when we say our goodbyes and I went to hold the second door handle when out of absolute nowhere I went "I can't" and burst into tears!! Oh my goodness I couldnt believe it ha ha! She must have put some suggestion in there somewhere, as we were chatting how I shouldn't hold it all in and have the "be strong" defence, when all of a sudden I go to leave, and I start to cry! I soon told myself off, which she said not to and I think she was pleased.
Anyways, since then, I left and went straight to my boyfriends house and there i stayed. I felt safe there, but also afraid. It seems I am always afraid of being yelled at or "told off".
I came home today as I have an interview tomorrow for a course to become a counsellor. My sister criticised me, she hasn't passed any qualifications as she always gives up but I never say anything to her! But, she apparently was saying loads of negative things about me to my mum, who decided to tell me the second I walked through the door.
It's reduced the confidence I hoped I had for tomorrow, and hope my family's criticism don't hinder my responses in my interview tomorrow as it needs to go well.
Anyways, I hope you are all well. Just thought I would offload on here, hope thats ok! My OCD is controllable when I am away from home – when i return, it goes uncontrollable and my anger inside and emotions are more apparent??
Thank you in advance if you read all this