So I have been waiting for this day to get here because I figured my son would want to do something with tons of his friends and go all kinds of places and just go be a 15 year old. But nothing.. he has no idea what he wants to do. Oh wait he did ask me to drive him to Houston to hang out with his girlfriend.. lol. The last couple of days have not been so bad. Other than being so tired. I was able to go places on my own and do things on my own. I am determined to not let this take over me everyday like it was. I started taking guitar lessons and now my son is taking them as well.. That is a good thing in my life right now. I think what I need to do is move out of this house in June and get my own place with my son. Living with my sister, her 2 kids. my son, me, and my so called sister, not blood related but my father raised her.. but yet her mother married someone else so my father really should have no ties to her but he still does. Her mother was addicted to pain killers and alcohol and tried to kill herself a couple of times. So we took her in. And being 20 years old, no job, not able to drive, doesn't know how to do anything but play on the computer, her phone, and sit and eat everything I told her to keep my house clean. She was also her for my mother before she passed away. That was all she had to do was clean the house. Free room and board, free cable, internet, endless food and a 2k microfiber couch to sleep on. I have begged her to move to a bed  but she refuses to. She eats on my couch I have asked her not to she doesn't it anyway. She pulled out all the stuffing to make the couch more comfortable for her then lied about it. She lies about every thing she does if she thinks someone is going to be mad at her. To sweep daily, vacuum daily, clean the kithcen daily, and do whatever laundry there is to do, isn't to much to ask for someone.. She says the house overwhelms her so she can't do it all.. Yes she is taking advantage of me I know this. The only side to that is she is the only one other than my son who will sit with me through a panic attack. But before she was fine with it, she would just sit and talk and calm me down. She would talk about whatever and I would get over it. But now she has an attitude if I need her. My son will sit with me and rub my back till it goes away which he will totally do in a heartbeat but that isn't fair to keep him from doing fun stuff. My sister can't stand to be around me if I am having one. She thinks I should just be like oh well get over it poof its gone. I am like don't you think I would looooooove to do that. I think today is my day to just get all this stuff off my chest. This house is driving me nuts. I got a puppy on Dec 18th for everyone in the house and of course I am the main responsibility for it. Which did not go over well with my therapist. Cause he drives me nuts.. I mean he is a puppy and so cute but right now everything gets on my nerves. Okay enough of my babble. Will blog later.