I made a huge commitment on June 9thby proposing to my now fiance. Idid it in a pretty busy restaurant. I barely ate anything (crazy amount of anxiety makes me not want toeat)and her parents, brother and sister were there also. I started talking to her about how she has stood by my side througout all of my rough time (we started dating just after I started having severe panic attacks) and how much that showed that she loved me. I then went down to one knee (heart racing, shaking like crazy) and popped the question. She said yes and after that I started to calm down. Well, two days after that, I was driving around doing multiple things when I started to have shortness of breath, tunnel vision, shaking really bad, and my hands went numb to name a few things. I pulled into a parking lot to try and calm down but nothing was working. I ended up calling 911 because I was scared as hell. After being at the hospital for a couple hours, I felt like I should have never went because I was feeling fine. All the tests came back normal. Ever since then, I have been getting sweaty hands and feet, little bit of shakiness (as I had to delete a couple s' off of shakiness because I was experiencing it again), shortness of breath, jumpy at the smallest sounds,and just feeling like I am floating while I am walking. I hate this feeling. Another problem that I am having trouble with is leaving home and going anywhere that is more than a couple minutes away. It is like being stuck in one of those little snow globes. It has been a living nightmare and I have tried everything to overcome it. I am on meds, I have been in therapy for over 4 years now and still have no idea how to overcome what I believeis to beagoraphobia. It happens every six months or so and lasts for one to two months. Anyone have any thoughts on how to handle this? I have asked my friends that have panic attacks if they ever have this and they said no. Obviously they have panic disorder without agoraphobia. Although I usually am on top of things and feel like I can get things under control, this one is wearing me down. While I am writing this blog, I am anxious as hell because I was doing some woodworking for my future brother-in-law (building a subwoofer box for his truck) and we were using MDF. It kind of hurt the next day to take a deep breath and I thought that it was normal because I probablyinhaled some sawdust. I didn't wear a facemask because I never thoughtabout it.The thing that freaked me out is what I googled (worst thing to do, EVER!). I have a fear of dying. I looked up if it was bad to inhale MDF dust. Of course, it said yes. You know why? Because it contains Formaldehyde. Sounds spectacular and I made many different cuts and was covered in the stuff so I can only imagine what I inhaled. Well, I am going to end this blog because I am tired of typing when I keep having to delete and re-type because I am anxious. Have a good one and thank you to anyone who responds!
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Yes, my psychiatrist tests my levels every six months or so and everything is fine
I see a therapist every two weeks and I currently take klonopin (.5 mg/ 4 times a day)
I too have the problem with breathing … I have thoughts of lung cancer becuz I smoke … BUT, I am using positive thinking, using scripture to help. Calling those things that arent, as though they were … its not easy sometimes, but I do believe in God, i pray, and actually remind him of his Word.
I just went thru the whole wedding/marriage thing. I too was anxious, just to get it over with! I did get thru it, and I try to always remember, I have always gotten THRU it …
I am sorry u are having a rough time, I will keep u in my prayers … hope tonite is a lot better for you
and ur so right, googling things is the WORSE thing u can do!!! I got the t-shirts on that one!
Blessings,
Shell 🙂