It''s a New Year but it doesn''t feel like it inside.  Everything is still the same.  Maybe we hope that things will change and the new year will bring great opportunities, but what we actually do is put too much expectations on the new year and sad to say the year won''t be able to deliver everything we hope.  I have always feared saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, but I''m not going to concern myself with it.  I had a brief situation yesterday where I made a comment as encouragement since I know that person had wanted what happened in their marriage for a long time.  Instead, the person went in left field with a response that they were not focused on what occurred and it didn''t matter. Whoops! Excuse me for remembering the countless times you yearned for it.  It won''t happen again. 

On another note, I spoke with my boyfriend whom I have not seen since his coldness at Christmas finally about the anger and frustration he has caused not only me, but others.  My visiting uncle has requested that he attend the dinner we are having with his stepdaughter and husband.  I don''t know if he will show and don''t partially care.  I told him last night he treats me like yesterday''s news anyway which he denied and said he cares (that word and action disconnection again).  So if he shows up at the restaraunt this evening, it will only be due to the fact that there''s food and he probably hasn''t eaten all day.

The one main thing I seek once and for all this year is happiness.  Whether it be with someone or alone-I want it once and for all.  That was my sincere prayer yesterday as the new year came in and that will be sincere prayer from this point on until I get it or die trying.