Well, it's finally come down on me.  All this time almost over a week of breaking up with my b/f it's all sinking in and still talking to him as friends like we've been for years the tears are coming and all the heartache.  I'm babysitting my grandbabies and can't even do for them each time I'm  holding the little one and tears just drop down on him.  When the 4yrs old asks for something I just do it like a robot but the tears keep coming.  It's a 14yr loss now, 14yrs I feel like were a waste but it wasn't I was with my best friend just had more of a relationship than that for the last 5 yrs it's been only me in his life and now being apart for the last 4yrs and planning him moving out here he changed his mind and is dating someone else.  It hurts me to know after all these yrs I was replaced so easily, not being best friends but being the intimate best friends that we were.  Too bad he didn't tell me all this before I went out there for a week he told me the night I returned home.  I suspected something as he acted with distance between us just wish I'd know but I guess deep down I did know but now after all this time the tears won't stop.  I can't talk, can't do anything and what's worse can't hug and play with my grandbabies.  Now I wonder how long this stage will last but I know it will be a long long time.  Still  talking to him helps when we talk about friend things we know each other so well but it still will take a long time and a long time to trust again.