Here I am older now. Healthy until a few weeks ago. I have major depression but have pretty much managed with exercise and working out. My body has always been in good shape, I guess because of being active all my life. I am being told constantly how good I look and whatever I am doing to keep doing it. Lately and sort of suddenly I am being treated old, like 110. I found out kind that being older you are no longer wanted. However, I have had two husbands that were 17 and 20 years younger then me. I guess this is because I relate to younger people. Now I have a spinal stenosis and have been trying to get the physical therapy. I had a very bad experience at another hospital and now I find I am blacklisted at other hospitals. They treat me somewhat, but it is so disheartening because of the rumors that everybody, the medical staff so eager to believe them.I am a retired registered nurse and am alone with no support.. Suprisingly, I am not suicidal. I am not a mean person, but do get angry sometimes but do not show it. I am so depressed with so many mean people kicking me in the butt. I probably sound like I have been rambling, but maybe sometime I will get it together and feel better and be able to talk to you and make a little better sense.. I hate feeling like I am a nobody and I know it's not true and I know I will overcome this. I just would like to have someone be kind to me. And I am not a bad person because I hurt when people are mean to me. I am really in a bad spot right now, but I know I can come out of it. I hope I will hear from somebody and help me to shift my thinking in a positive direction. I am normally an outgoing person and friendly and fun. Hope to hear from someone just to talk to me as I would when I hve met persons like this. Thank you.