Ok…. so I'm back with a delema I have. My problem is this: How can you be a good friend without being over baring? Confsed? Well, Let me explain….
In short… I have a friend (my best friend whom I love with all my soul actually) and he is basically under the impression that his significant other has possibly given him HIV. Here's where the plot thickens… He's terrified to go get tested. He has been having a lot of the symptoms I'm sure we are all familiar with… unexplained weight loss, night sweats, flu like symptoms… so on and so forth.
ANYWAY… I have multiple conversations with him about getting tested and it's better to know than not and yadda yadda yadda. He's know's my status and knows everything that I have been through, including the death of my fiance. Last week he decided that he was finally gonna go get tested. We were supposed to go do it today….. SUPPOSED TO!
He became very emotional, telling me that he's not ready, and he can't do it at this point and even though he told me not to let him talk me out of taking him… he fought me tooth and nail when I was addressing this situation . So my question is this… How can you be a good friend without being too over baring? I love him so much and I just want him to be ok. I am so terrified that he will end up like my fiance, because that was how he lived his life. He felt that if he ignored it, it would go away… I have no clue what to do in thins situation! Short of hog tying him and throwing his ass into my trunk, I just don't know…. Sigh
The best way to address your dilema is with patience and understanding. The fear is too raw and too real for him… and it is a fear that you are familiar with. "Overbearing" implies force, and where there is force there will always be an equal and opposite measure of resistance. Address his fears first. Be the friend that he values, not the dictator he will resist. Ultimately his choices are his to manage, and as long as you understand that and apply it to the situation, then you are the one friend he has that is not telling him how to decide. When he is ready to test, he will most likley ask for your presence and your support.