I honestly feel like crap, an everyone expect me to always be happy, supportive and strong person. I just can’t do that all time an I am so tired of getting misunderstood cause I can’t control the panic I feel. The anxiety I feel, the pressure in my head, the pounding in my heart. Sometimes my own heart beat is louder then my thoughts. I feel like I am going crazy just trying be normal an hide the fact I am in so much pain. It kills me to always be positive when I am not!! I just want to be understood not feel like mental case when I explain, I get numb sometimes, I get dizzy when I overthink, I need reassurance an yess I can give to myself but I want to be able to talk without feeling argument is going happen. I wanna be happy an enjoy everyone company without feeling I’m responsible for their feelings. I want to be free!! Honestly I want to be a bird if that makes sense an just fly with no destination, no responsibilities, no one to worry about but me. I just feel like I wish someone is their for me the way I am for others. I wish I was understood, I wish I didn’t feel so emotionally at times. I wish to be able to learn how to deal with this much pain. I just wish