My daughter who is the light of my life, my everything, my reason for living, has tried to end her life. Yesterday, there was a frantic knock at my door at 130 am. It was the police. My step daughter found my daughter trying to kill herself. She called the suicide hotline and they called the police. What has happened. What did I do. She has always been able to talk to me, we have been through so much together. We are getting her professional help, and have got the entire family involved at her request.

I used to obsessively fear about losing her when she was a baby, toddler, and child. As she got older, she always made good decisions so I started feeling better. I didn’t hover over her. Was that a mistake? Did I give her too much credit? She has always been for lack of a better word, perfect. I used to try to get her to do normal kid things, like getting into trouble, climb trees, climb fences, curse. ANYTHING. She would never do it.

How do you move on from this. How do you sleep at night, eat, shower etc. I cannot stand the thought of losing you Jourdan. Without you, my life has no purpose. No meaning. Nothing. I fucking love you to the moon and back.