I always loved my parents as a kid, but I can’t say that now. I’m surprised they haven’t noticed how I stopped saying I love you back; but why would they? It’s not like I matter. Honestly, I feel like they don’t know what mental health is at this point. They don’t stop to think how the stuff they say or do would affect me mentally. My dad keeps telling me to leave if I don’t feel safe or if I don’t want to stay here then leave, but he also says he wants me to stay; I think he needs to make up his fucking mind. I’ve been having to deal with their bullshit for so long and I can’t take this anymore. Fuck killing myself, once I turn 18 I’m leaving this shit hole. take me out of school for hell’s sake, you’re just giving me more time to get a job and save up to pack up and leave you assholes. I’m so done with this shit. I’m at my last straw, and I mean it. Fuck I hope CPS comes and takes me away from you guys. You cry while kneeling on the floor. You never cry. I only cried because Mom told me to give you a hug. Hugs are the one thing that breaks or fixes me. If she didn’t I would have kept that dull-ass look on my face while not giving a single shit about how you love me. The only person who truly loves me, who would and has done anything and everything for me, is God; and If it weren’t for him I would be dead this very second. It’s all your fault, the reason for my mental state, fuck even physical. You limit me, I could be so much better, and happier. But I can’t. I feel like grey TV static. I don’t live anymore, I’m just here. You’re talking to no one, just a trashcan that’s going to ignore you and do nothing but waste your time and annoy you. Trying to help me never works. I give up on even trying because there is no point, there never was. It’s never going to end, and I know that. At this point I can’t make up my mind, I want to die right now tonight but at the same time, I want to be able to leave this place. Honestly don’t be surprised if I overdose and call 911. I’ll put my life in God’s hands and let him decide. I need help. no-  I NEED HELP. I WANT THIS TO END. I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE.