Let’s start from the beginning shall we. I was born March 1st, 2006, at a hospital in Virginia in the middle of the day. I was born to a 19yr old mentally disabled mother and a 22yr old military father. When I was 1, we moved to New york to be near my grandmother while my father deployed somewhere for the military. I spent most days at my grandmother’s house. My mother couldn’t hold a job due to her disability and struggled to care for me. I was a very easy kid according to my mom. I never really cried. I was in speech therapy for a while. I had a love for insects and playing with slugs and worms in the garden. I was a happy little blonde-haired blue-eyed girl just living life. I enjoyed going to pumpkin patches, riding in my wagon and giving my grandparents little Shitsu, Jack rides around the yard in it as well. When I was 3 my father came back. He took me to court and got full custody and moved me away from my mom all the way to Texas. He had a new woman. My father was never good to my mom. He would abuse her mentally and physically. He cheated on her multiple times as well. This new woman became my stepmother, and I was the flower girl at the wedding. Just before I turned 4 a family friend and I started being baby sat together while our parents went on double dates and stuff. The boy of this family, Aiden was 1 yr. older than me and was adopted. Our parents were always talking about how me and him were going to marry each other when we got older and how cute we would be together. But that never happened. Instead, what happened is, when the babysitter was there Aiden would sneak into his parent’s room where I slept on those nights and touch me and kiss me inappropriately. I would just freeze up and pretend to still be sleeping because I didn’t know what to do. I was only 4. This went on until I moved to Pennsylvania at age 7 so my father could attend Penn State University. I got assaulted again on the bus during my third-grade year by another student. At this time, I also was seen as a problem child at home by my parents. I was called a perfect angel and pleasure to have in class at school though. Fast forward and abuse began more heavily at home. It was mostly all emotional and verbal abuse. At 12 I started puberty and began to feel uncomfortable with my body and everything felt wrong. I wanted a flat chest and less curves. I would wear tight sports bras and ask for boys’ clothes and a short haircut. I was never allowed. I started getting suicidal thoughts and had my first attempt one night in the bathtub. I tried to drown myself. When I heard footsteps from the hall I immediately sat up. I had siblings by that time also. My next-door neighbor would hear my sibling screaming late at night crying and getting spanked beyond the amount they should have been at that age. This was nothing new though as I was also beat like this and sometimes grabbed by the back of the neck also. CYS started getting calls about my family and concerns about me and were given an in-home family counselor who came to see me 2x a week. I got hospitalized for suicidal ideation at age 13 and came back a week later only to go back to another one in a few months. I never went back home after the second hospitalization. I was put into RTFs and group homes from there where I faced long term sexual assault and neglect and abuse. It was at my second placement that i finally came out as trans. It was the only non-abusive placement I ever went to. I have left out a lot of detail and events in this because its too much to write. When I turned 18 I was kicked out of the system for running away too much and not being able to get a job. I spent a month in a homeless shelter before they then put me back into care. while at the shelter I was diagnosed with ADHD on top of all my other diagnosis’s and referred for Autism testing. I went back to the group home for a month and things were going great until my roommate accused me of masturbating in front of her. (I never did) She wanted to room with her friend and they wouldnt let her until she accused me of that and they had no other option.  the staff believed her lie and began treating me like shit again. I then went off to college. (where I am now).