I’ve been struggling with nightmares the past few weeks. They always come. But never leave. The memory is engraved into my head. It all leads back to my sexual assault. Knowing I could very well have prevented it. The feeling of his disgusting hands on my body still lingers. I still shower at least 3 times a day just to get the feeling off of me. The pain of it. The mental and physical scars. Knowing I may very well never be able to have sex again. Knowing my future relationships will never be the same. And all he said was “I’m sorry”. Sorry isn’t going to fix what happened. I wish it did. But it doesn’t. Therapy doesn’t help. It makes shit worse. Cause then I go home after opening wounds that I wanted to keep hidden. The pain of reliving terrible memories. It’s all too much sometimes. You know?