I found this site shortly before the one year anniversary of my partner's death. Chris and I were together for 11 wonderful years. He was my whole world and in the end there were no words left unsaid between us. We took care of each other and made sure neither one went with out anything. Our love for each other was larger than any mountain on earth and through the good and bad times it held us together.

 The day I learned that he had terminal cancer was one of the hardest days in my life. Over the next year and a half we were tested by each new obstacle. I cared for him at home for all but the last four days of his life. We moved him to a hospice on February 12th and at 5:30 am on February 15th Chris slipped quietly away. When I said my final good bye it felt like time stood still for a few minutes and then a new clock started ticking. Now time was moving forward without him in my life. I have learned so much over the course of this year. I discovered that I am stronger than I knew and that I will survive. I have my days where I am up and happy but there are those moments when the pain comes back as fresh and raw as the day he died. There was one day when I was walking my dog and suddenly I started crying. There I was standing in the middle of the street with tears running down my face sobbing uncontrollably. I miss him so much and would give anything to have him back healthy. My life will never be the same without him.

Now I am working on building a new life and I have decided it is time for me to leave Maine where I have lived for most of my life and move to Florida. I need a fresh start and a new location with fresh faces and sunshine sounds like a good place to begin. So, this June I plan to pack up my belongings and my dog and head south. I’m not sure what lies on the road ahead but one thing I do know is that I’ll make it.