from all the workers who have to deal with you, the customer on the phone…

PLease be aware that when you leave a message for one of us to call you back, that we actually need the information in which to return your call.

For example:

Hi my name is John (three words took 20 seconds to say.. why you all start messages by talking tree sloth slow I do not know?)

"I would like a call back…I can use some help I need on my account/car/apple pie/funeral/juggling clown/spandex pants/life-sized replica of jane fonda with the kung fu grip (come on, we all know who you are)/ case of bourbon/case of banana\'s/case of monkeys/case of banana hammocks/jock itch medicine/snuggy/ or a bedazzler and matching denim jacket in which to bedazzle.."

Pick one or a combo of any of these items.. i don\'t care…

(Take\'s another minutefor you to say five more words from the list above…meanwhile I am staring at the ceiling thinking about what to have for lunch, counting how many dead crickets have crawled in the lights above me, and secretly planning to invent a time machine to go back and kill the inventor of the phone.. or just the inventor of the phone you are on at the moment…)

Please..call.. me…..baaaackkkk…uhhhhhhhhh whenever you uhhhhh have a chaaa-uhhhh-nnceeee… (five minutes to say this sentence)

My number issssssssssssss…….

FOURFIVETHREENINEONETWOTENTWENTY (number given in .000000000000001 seconds)

WTF?????? what the hell happened to your slow talking….., Mrspeedy gonzales phone number giver? Why did you speed up at the end?

or this is my favorite……

forty-five six fifty two ninety fiveten….

Does anyone recognize this set of numbers…especially if you are from the U.S.? Don\'t know if other countries have identifying numbers like our ss #.. but this is about the dumbest thing I loathe. Recognize I am typing what you are saying, you did not just gave me nine numbers you gave me more than that..

instead of saying 4, 5 ,6 you just made me input 40, 5.. shit..!!!!! erase.. 4 5 6.. etc etc 90.. shit erase 9 5 10…

Might as well just say four hundred fifty six two hundred forty five twenty two four…its the same thing.. say your numbers one at a time please.. but do it quickly…

Or else I may be thinking about how to order a faux Angolina Jolie……