It has been close to six months since I wrote in here. Not a whole lot has changed, though my symptoms tend to get worse over time. It’s been very discouraging. And my closest friend is Debbie Downer all the time (literally, her name is Debbie). I have been making friends with my next-door neighbor, we’ve been seeing each other regularly for tea time. I think she feels peaceful in my home because it is always neat and clean, and I feel peaceful in her home because there is so much space (I live in an RV, she lives in a house). We take turns. Today is the first day of the Dark Moon’s energy. Astrologers call it the “New Moon,” but for us, we consider the New Moon to be the first sliver of the waxing crescent. Today I did a simple ritual for the Dark Moon. I wrote on a piece of paper things I want to release from my life. Then I burned the paper with the flame from my prayer candle, which promptly went out (symbolic, I think). I disposed of the ashes in the outdoor trash can, away from my home.

Tomorrow I will smudge my crystals, first with sage and then with palo santo. Tomorrow is Debbie Downer’s birthday. I forgot to get her a card; I’ll just send her a text in the morning. So I’ve written up a manifesto of sorts, is like a Christowiccan creed. That’s what I’ve decided to call my religion: Christowicca. My theology is Christian, and my practice is Wiccan. It’s easy to have my Lord and Lady be Christ Jesus and mother Mary. Piece of cake. Sometimes too I call upon Mother Earth. I’ve finally found a good way to syncretize the two religions. It works for me. My path is not for everyone. It has seriously lifted some of my depression (I think there will always be some residual depression hanging about) to praise Jesus once again, in addition to casting spells in His name. The beautiful crystals I use were made by Him who creates all things through Mother Earth. Same with the oils and incenses. Each morning I call upon Mother Mary to guide my hand in choosing oracle cards for myself and my husband. And I pray to her thrice daily for the sake of Ukraine: the first prayer is to protect the Ukranian president from harm. The second prayer is to stop Putin. The third prayer is for the people of Ukraine, especially the children.

I sometimes listen to Pagan music, but if it starts getting into deities which I don’t worship, I’ll turn it off. I have a hard time listening to Christian music, a lot of it makes me sad because I can’t feel the Holy Spirit anymore. Sometimes I listen to instrumental Christian music, so I don’t get distracted or bummed by the lyrics. Most of the time I listen to jazz, classical, drumming, world music, ambient sound, and sound healing (singing bowls, etc.). Music is very healing. Right now I am listening to an ambient track called “Weightless.” I can benefit from this, espcially seeing as I have gained weight. I was going to take a nap, but decided I wanted to write.

If anyone is curious about Christowicca, music or anything else, feel free to message me. Blessed Be and Amen.

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