So the fight from last Friday continued tonight . Pretty much more accusations of things I don't do & them denying everything I said as usual & then I got a sermon from my dad on top of everything else! Which annoys me because of the things he has done & continues to do it is all just an act he can say all the right words but outside of church he is Totally different & not just some of the time all the time…I get that people aren't perfect but it is like he has 2 seperate lives!!! Although this time I broke down & cried in front of them something I very rarely ever do….so I am sobbing like can't breath,my chest is doing that weird thing that happens when you are hysterical & they just keep blasting away like nothing is happening…what the heck? They just sincerely don't give a damn anymore about me or my feelings! And then they accuse me of being disrespectful I am crying my eyes out the last thing I want is to make it worse let alone I can't even hardly get a breath!!!!!! I got up took my doggy upstairs & cried for 20 more minutes…my heart felt like it was gonna break in a million pieces & kill me & honestly I was hoping it would just kill me then & there & end my pain but it didn't . The Only good thing is they have agreed to pay for 4 more weeks of counseling & then I have to find a way which I am stressed out about but it is better than next week at least. I will be seeing her on Wednesday again . And I may have found a support group that isn't to far only about 30 minutes away… although my parents are against that as well even though it is only 2 times a month & it is totally free but what is new! The biggest thing was there attitude & non caringness about my well being!! I have told myself a million times not to expect anything from them but it always ends up that I do & then I get hurt again . Hoping to find a job 2 days a week that I can use the money from to pay for counseling just wish I had more time 4 weeks isn't that long. And with my various medical problems on top of the anxiety & o.c.d it is gonna be harder I imagine! So if anyone lives near lancaster, pa & needs a babysitter send me a message I would really appreciate it or a friend of yours I can give you info to pass on to them…thanks!