As of recently, trying to help myself overcome my SA issue.

Aside hanging out with my roommate/partner I've always beensomewhat of a loner.

I don't mind being that sometimes, but other times, lately often, Icrave to besocial and haveother friends to hang out with. So I'm trying something different. I posted a personal ad on some date site lol. That's extreme, something out of the ordinary for me.

I'm not sure I can finish what I start lol. We'll see…

I've been interacting with someone that wants to get to know me, who lives close to my area. We have plans to meet in a couple weeks and hang out. Sometimes even online interaction with other people is challenging, but so far I think I'm doing ok with this particular person chatting via texting, emails, particularly talking on the phone.

We had said about meeting next month, but over the weekend she asked if we could meet yestday Sunday, but that's too soon to me. I told her I couldn't. I'm not ready.

I need time to mentally prepare and psych myself up for meeting herin person. And when the time comes, I hope I do alright interacting. When anxieties kick in I tend to close up and probably grow too quiet and serious. I probably come across as antisocial.

I desire to meet someone that understands and can be patient with me and my issue. I crave someone that complements my personality.

She called me this morning. We talked briefly, and she said she'd call me later, but I wasn't feeling too chatty…. somewhat quiet…so probably couldn't carry on a conversationtoo well right now,so I had to tell her a little white lie.. that I wouldn't be available to talk on the phone with her because I was expecting an important phone. But she was welcome to text me. We did for a bit.

I hope we click because I wish not to have to search endless for the right person for me.

From being a loner so much, sometimes I feel like I died inside. I ache to feel ALIVE!

1 Comment
  1. sadninja 10 years ago

    Definitely taking things slow. Because of my issue, probably too slow lol. Actually, earlier in an email I shared with her for the first time about my issue. She was thinking that I was just shy. Now she knows. We\'ll see how she takes the news. I hope she can be understanding and supportive.

    Yeah I really want to come out of this loner mode. I have complications interacting. It\'s like I have to learn to mingle because I don\'t know how. The only way to learn is to practice, going out of my comfort zone and being brave about talking to people.

    I know these initial interaction are going to feel awkward, somewhat uncomfortable, but I\'m fighting so that SA doesn\'t hold me back anymore.

    Thanks for your comment Red!

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