How do you know who your real friends are? 

I lay in bed thinking about how over the years I’ve lost friends . I’m not a people’s person so I hardly ever made lots of friends yet I had a group of 3 girls whom I thought were going to grow together , be there for one another and stand up for another but it never happened . I lost all 3 of them . One is  fake and two face befriending the enemy claming to be the “honest” friend in the group . Second one who I had been closest to is just so “nonchalant “ about everything and has this non caring attitude towards everyone which is strange because she had always been the one to be lively , caring and supportive (ironic right ) . Third one well I don’t know about her but I’m having my doubts we had also been close just like my other friend but on a different level because we could relate where as the other friend was a good comforter nonetheless she claims that the first friend is fake and only there for fun times yet she still hangs out with her ?????

I feel hurt , betrayed and disappointed because I hardly ever open to up anyone not even family and when I do it means I trust you . They all broke my hurt and trust , my feelings hardly taken into consideration .

I tried being the mediator and fixing things between the girls but something always happens or new drama arises but I decided that there’s only so much I could do and should just leave it alone now .

Now I’m all alone hardly making any memories to cherish for my last year in high school …. how do you know who your real friends are ?? How do you know when to give up ?? Why does it hurt so badly ??? Why does it look like I’m the only one who actually cares ??