I wish I was asexual. Every time I think of something sexual, I want to gouge my eyes out. I hate myself.
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It’s ok to not want to think about sexual topics, but…you shouldn’t beat yourself up over it. It’s ok to not want to be in a non-asexual position, and it’s ok to not want to think about something sexual, but PLEASE stop beating yourself up. OK? I hope you feel better!
and, it’s not really asexual. you are probably aromantic [asexual is not liking anyone, aromantic is not wanting relationships with anyone, you can still like people, you just don’t like the idea of intimacy]