ok so ive had a hug crush on this guy since my 1st year of uni and im in my 3rd. due to the whole factthat most bastake only 3 years i though as the sermster is drawing to a end i should at lest find out his name rather then contie to call him rover dode for ever, and not know where it could have gorn.

so the night before i was really excited and as such got very little sleep which wasnt helped by building matternace coming to fix my window 2hs before i normaly wake up.

so i went up and asked him out for a drink he said yes 😀 and handed over my contacts and got out of the building as soon as i possible could. then my emotions went out of control, i should not that my ocd was staring to return so i was a little on ega and to me this guy is the hottus guy on the face of this plant! so at first i started to shack, and felt hunger which with in a min turned to wanting to through up, run away and hide under a rock till i died. and then happyness then i started to cry for no reason and to me cry its the ultermate sign of weakness not for others just me.

so then the thoughs your weak your perfectic why would he like you hes like a god and you well your a genic mutat, keep running though my head and still are. then i had to sit though a 3h tut only mins after all of this started and by the end i just had to leave i wwas yorning every 2nd breath and just couldnt stand to be there any longer.

over course when things get bad the 1st thing i like to do is fix someone else problem not to think about mine and even though i really didnt want to i did it anyway. but now no onces having any problems and its been two nights and i found out that he already has a gf and i dont want to be the other women in his life or hurt her because he picked her so he must like her.

and last night i only got 4hs sleep and i normaly get at less 10h and even though im on sleeping meds and ive taken two as my dr has toldme to do as exams are around the corner and with my medical conditions if i dont sleep my body breaks down. and still no sleep.

and i reilised that i didnt ask him before was because of the OCD and now its making me regrate doing it.

any thoughts and appions would be helpful


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