12:44am:11/29/16

the year is coming to an end as the radios start to play Christmas music and the malls ass their Black Friday sales. This is the first year I have to challenge myself to survive in the adult world.

Little insight:

I quit my retail job. I was there for a  1 year and 3 months. I found my significant other here & I learned so many new skills. I was happy with my job until the last few months. I was becoming more and more depressed. I began to eat more.  Sleep more. I would just wake up , work , eat , come home and sleep 3-4hrs and BAM repeat.

I didn’t graduate high school. It’s been 2 years since I dropped out.

My life is a huge mess.

But ive managed to move in with my boyfriend , he is the only thing that keeps my head in the game. My family is very distant and sometimes cold with me. My bf is the only one who has helped me in the hardest of times.

Day 2 of being jobless I contacted my friends. One friend has a catering job set for me this week coming up. But a week of no work…? I need money. I got my butt off the bed today and went to a staffing agency. I’m going back in the morning (5:45am) to see if they have a job ready for me.

Im really nervous.

I don’t know what to expect but I’m not sad that I left my old job. I feel more relaxed. I’m honestly thinking it was something overdue.

My goals from now on are getting my GED and saving money.

I need money more now than ever with the apartment and all.

But a little part of me is saying more money now due to the holidays.

I want to give my bf something nice this year. And my best friend too. They both deserve it.

I am a mess inside because I haven’t been able to sleep or eat very well these last few days.

As my bf sleeps next to me I’m typing this in hopes of getting sleepy- or having some type of relief. I am pressured because idk how the jobs are gonna treat me or how I’ll get the next month of rent.

I know I can do it. I just need to push myself.

Wish me luck, positive vibes to all.

-penguin out 🐧