I don't know if my parents understand just how much my cousin, Dana's cancer is affecting me. I guess it could be my depression amplifying what I feel. I can't begin to imagine whatthose close to her feel but it brings back all I felt with my grandma when she was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer three years ago.
I don't want to come off sounding selfish, that's the last thing I want. But I'm feeling such a deep sadness for her and my cousin, Steven, her husband. Dana isn't blood related to me but I consider her my cousin. I was so overjoyed when she joined our family. You see girls in my generation are out numbered and I was elated to learn Steven was getting married and that I would have another girl cousin.
They married less than three years ago…and Dana has been battling her cancer for nearly all of that time. I catch myself wondering "how can a just God give Dana and Steven such little time together?"
When my grandma was diagnosed with lung cancer in 2009, I struggled with such a deep anger, it consumed me after she passed away. I began to cut again and I eventually became suicidal…how do I not let this happen to me again? How do I do all I can for Steven and Dana as a Christian? I feel if I don't try to atleast see them when I'm home from college, that I'm not being a good Christian.
Steven and Dana called in hospice care Thursday…I hate the finality that hospice represents but I'm in no way saying they didn't fight a great fight. They drove back and forth to Duke, a hospital in North Carolina from Georgia so much. Dana was diagnosed with a cancer only seen in children. She's 24…and that makes her care rare. And therefore hard to treat I guess.
Please pray for them and our family. Thanks