Hi. I'm C. I tried this site a few years ago but had to get off when some woman kept bothering me and telling me I should go on tv for treatment (not happening.)

I'm 26 and pretty much a failure. OCD has taken a lot from me. I've not been able to get out and do things like I should. I still live at home with my mother and our two dogs. My dad died three years ago which was really hard. I miss him a lot.

I tried therapy. My therapist, in no uncertain terms, wasa bitch. She criticized everything about me from my clothing to my voice. She even told me she thought I was retarded the first time we met. That's really insulting. I graduated from college magna cum laude.

The doctor at the place I went kept me on medicine for two years that made me continually nauseous. I lost fifteen pounds and could only eat cereal and yogurt without getting sick.

I'm angry at myself because I let them abuse me for two years and didn't say anything. What broke the camel's back was when my therapist said she thought my father sounded like a bully. THAT BITCH DIDN'T KNOW MY FATHER. He was the kindest man I've ever known. He was never a bully, never mean, never anything that fucking bimbo said he was.

I left her and tried another therapist there. She was a little nicer but had to leave when we were barely a month into our sessions. She told me the previous therapist had said there was no hope for me and that I continually quit therapists which wasn't true. She was the first therapist I ever had.

That was a year ago. I'm with a pretty nice doctor now but no therapist. The medicine I'm on now doesn't make me nauseous but it doesn't seem to be working (nothing ever does. I've been on a butt load of medicines and they work for like a month before stopping.)

Lately I've been really bad off. I obsess from dawn to dusk. Tonight I'm worried we're going to have a thunderstorm and the power'll be off for six days. Every night it gives me a time the power'll go off and the hours it'll be off. It's never right but I don't listen.

When the power goes off I think I could kill myself. It reminds me of what a pathetic loser I am and how alone I'll always be. It's so QUIET without the power. I'm left alone with my thoughts which I hate.

Tonight I started hitting myself again. I picked up the hairbrush in the bathroom and just whacked my arm and my stomach with it. I have large red marks on my body which should make me feel better but don't.

I just feel so alone. It's like I'm the only one in the world who's this sick. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this.