Maybe i shouldn't write this, but im upset and scared. Does being insecure i guess you would call it that have alot to do with ocd. Its so hard for me to even write this but i need help… My husband has come on here and joined and it really bothers me. The more time passes the worse it gets, i feel scared but wanting to get better at this at the same time. On one hand im glad that he came on here so he could better understand, but on the other hand it scares me of other women talking to him. Being a perfectionist, i always feel that im never good enough, so i feel like one day he will find someone better than me and leave. I have thoughts that get so bad sometimes, like will he leave for someone better looking or something. I want to be ok with this, him joining but im having a very hard time. Its a new year and that is something i need to work on, just don't know how? I can't understand why i can't get passed this? I know that im a wonderful person and i look pretty decent but its there, showing its ugly head, saying to me "these thoughts will always beat you". This is a big GIANT that eventually ive got to beat! Sorry im rambling on and on, but i tend to do that when im really upset and this really bothers me. Anyone that knows what im talking about or can help me with this please let me know. Also it is very hard to talk about my ocd with just anyone, its hard for me to talk with my husband without feeling like he thinks im crazy sometimes. He and just a month ago i told my sister are the only ones who know, so what im saying is that it bothers me too that this was my space to talk with others about ocd. You know what i mean? I feel like my husband has invaded my own personal thing and i don't know how to talk to him about this. I just need to calm down and take a deep breath, i wish i could explain how i feel better, its like my brain is having all of these thoughts and my heart all of these emotions. I feel terrible. Help!