I realized today that my heart is broken and no matter how hardI try there is nothing to repair the damage, not even time has healed my heart. I cannot figure out how to live in the world as I know it now. I'm am nothing to anyone except my mom, everyone has used me and thrown me out like the garbage, trash, I'm always hurting inside, wondering how come they don't miss me and why they don't call me or write me. I'm am truley devestated as a person, I feel beaten by them,because I live in hell in my mind and my heart everyday, I wear chains bound around my body and my mind, diggind into my flesh, ripping me to shreds. I'm bruised beyond any words I can write here.To live without love, freedom, compassion, help,honesty, interigity, forgiveness,respect,dignity,desire, hope, and worst of all no dreams, robbed of life's necessities by people who were your partner, your friends, your family, its broken me….apart.

In another life …. we're in the car going to Brevard its a beautiful sunny cool day in the mts, I happy because were going to see D&K, and its a great drive the sceenery is amazing the leaves are corals reds, and yellows, its perfect weather and the world is beatiful. Legh is reaching over to touch my hand,just for a moment, were winding our way up and down the mt, LOOK its a bear!!! Were soooo excited a nd pull over to watch it , I can't wait to teel D&K, we continue were into Brevard it won't be long to D&K's now were toyally amped, we call and ask if they need anything from town while were in tonw, no were good, ok we'll be there in 20 minutes…….we pull onto the gravel road and their watching us through bincalars….hey come on in….hugs….we saw you guys coming….laughing we all go into the kitchen and we start to tell them about seeing the bear and …………everything is gone………all the happiness, laughing,loving,sharing,closeness,its the end of we……of me…….