So the organization I am interning with teamed with Lifetime to present a movie tonight called "Call Me Maybe". It was about people living with mental illness. It was really good. I thought that some of it was exagerrated, but I thought it was a good movie, and I enjoyed watching it. There was this one scene where this woman found her husband's (who was dealing with depression) pills and suicide note in the drawer. He walked in on her and just sort of broke down.

My mother has bi-polar disorder, and she went a long long time without getting any type of treatment or even having a diagnosis. I remember one day when I came home from school there was a suicide note on the table. She went out and bought cards for my brother, my sister and I and apoligized for being an awful mother. I remember being terrified to move. I did not know what I should do. I wanted to look for her but I was terrified that I would find her dead in the house. After about 10 minutes of just standing there in shock I searched the house for her and she was not there. I called the police and they told me that she was in the hospital. Sher overdosed and then called an ambulance for herself. That day was completely terrifying, and you know… she has not ever apoligized for that. and after all this time… it still hurts. I can't even think about it without getting hot and shaky and teary eyed. Anyway, this internship has taught me that it s not her fault that she is sick, honestly I doubt she even remembers that (I'm going to assume because of selective memory).

In this movie, the main character says to her sister, "Do you realize that you're furious with me because I am sick?!" This is so true, I spent years being angry with my mother, and I know the things we went through hurt, they still hurt. It is even hard to think about, but if I did not go through them I would not be ther person that I was today, I would not be as strong as I am. This movie had so many great points, and I know my story is not directly linked… but I want to be able to share myself and my past through my blogs. I recommend this movie to anyone 🙂