I called our most trusted friend about the "gun in the house issue". He talked to my partner and she told me last night she is NOT going to buy a handgun. I asked her: "So, you arent going to buy one and hide it from me or sometthing?" She said no, we talked about it and I am not going to buy a gun. I feel relieved.

It's sad there is so much violence in the world that she felt she needed to get one for self defense if anyone ever invaded our home.

Thank goodness for good friends because she got so caught up in my reaction (NOO!!!) that she could not HEAR my explanation.

She says I am very disagreeeable lately….ever since I came out of the coma of being overmedicated for my disorders.

In therapy I am learning that i come on "too strong" sometimes…..even immmature. It's very humbling considering ball the work I have done so far.

I am committed to therapy. changing, growing and living out my full potential as a human being. It's a tall order.

I have to write a list of goals for 2013 SOON.

Today's goal is to go to take good care of myself, go to work and do the best I can, and go with the flow. I have mixed feelings whenever I leave the house; fear and excitement about anything that might happen.I try to acknowledge the fear and have faith I will have the strength to deal with whatever.

I am divorcing myself from my family. EXCEPT for my Gram in the nursing home in NY with dementia. I said "goodbye" to her when i went to visit her last spring. Hopefully, someone will call me when she passes on….she is almost 88.

I have a feeeling this year is going to be a big one….