I have been in the hospital for quite some time being treated for depression. My ability to function form day-to-day was affecting not only my sanity, but my overall health as well. I had very little food in the house because I could not get out to shop. I did not care about paying bills or even personal grooming like showering or shaving. I felt suicidal and knew I was in trouble. Previous to this happening, my father had open heart surgery. I used to take my mother to visit him in the hospital and in a rehabilitation home. He is home with my mother and doing well after several brushes with death. Perhaps my dads health precipitated by slide into a deeper and deeper depression. I called a friend who took me to the Veteran's Hospital where I remained for over a month. While I was at the hospital being treated for my depression and social anxiety, a blood test (PSA) showed that my prostate cancer had returned. I knew I had this cancer as early as '05. Consequently, I had surgery to remove my cancerous prostate that same year. I thought I was home free after after this surgery. Now after discovering of the return of the cancer, I am taking radiation therapy 5 days a week for 7 weeks. Unfortunately, my doctors have told me this will "buy me some time." I now have what doctors call "manageable but incurable" prostate cancer. I have gotten several opinions from leading doctors in Chicago and they have all confirmed the original diagnosis. This does not mean I am dying anytime soon. Each doctor I saw was unable or unwilling to say how long I had to live. One said as long as 5 to 10 years. Not too bad. The cancer has made my resolve to battle my depression even stronger. Many people in DT have severe health problems as well as some form of depression…so my situation, as I well know, is not unique. It just seems everything seemed to domino; my dad's health, hospitalization for depression and the return of this cancer. I now have a greater appreciation of life. For me, it is the everyday moments in life that are now are the most precious. I have a deeper empathy for the suffering of others. I am trying as hard as I can. I am asking for your help, too. I can't do all this alone. I am so grateful you are their for me. Thank you for taking the time to read this….Jack
-
Blog Nine: I Don''t Feel Okay.
MoestiferVita, , Depression, Anger, Depression, Medication, Obesity, Relationships, Schizophrenia, 0
I’m quite excited and hyper at 4:32am, but for no reason. Yet I’m also depressed. Like a hyper depression....
-
Venting
inkatobacherry, , Depression, Anxiety, Child, Depression, Self Esteem, Sleep Disorders, Therapist, Therapy, 1
Lots of swearing and stupid shit. Im just venting in this so all the yelling and swearing i do...
-
Pull my finger out?
sadjac, , Depression, Grief, Sleep Disorders, Suicide, 0
So I drunk last night. I drunk more than I should have. It left my moods being totally irattic....
-
Weird dreams
xillah, , Depression, Career, Child, 0
I've been having weird dreams for the past few days–mostly about children, in one way or another. Last night...
-
Transforming Hell
Ellowynne, , Depression, Questions, 0
They say it's all perspective. Well, mine's got some junk obscuring my perfect view… Seems like I'm always having...
-
I'm sorry I'm so sorry
StormySeas, , Depression, Anger, Questions, Self Esteem, 2
I apologize…a lot….too much. I'm sorry about that. I'm not sure anymore if I am truly sorry or if...
-
Last night
Steph_jn, , Depression, Child, 0
Work was hard last night. It was just such a busy night. Mostly because of the really hot temperatures...
-
A Dam Built for My Waterworks.
ll.lauren.ll, , Depression, 2
I was thinking today about how I’ve always been a cryer. Minorly inconvenienced? Cry. Parents punish you? Cry. A...