Well today went .. I can’t belive i’m saying this.. WELL!
This "course" that I have to go to, is all about the psycological side of getting a job. not the typical ‘how to write a CV" stuff. The course leader is actually a psycologist, so thats ok. The only awkward thing about it is that there is only one other person doing this course with me, and thats an older guy. He seems nice enough. I’m also a bit wary about saying too much. I don’t want anyone to know whats going on with me and what i’ve done. The class got out about an hour early. That made things kinda hard for me. I was planning on it finishing at 12, and then going to my psychaitrist appointmet. I enede up just wandering around the waterfront for a while. I had a close encounter with a large duck which was funny. The stupid thing kept trying to get my bag!!!
Anyway got to the shrinks office on time. Only to find that he was running 30mins late. No big drama…except I was freaking out about it the whole time. i was so nervous and worried. I kept thinking that I was going to have a panic attack.
Finally got to see him. It sure wasn’t what I expected. He seemed nice. His first question was "so whats wrong with you".. My answer "I don’t know"..we talked.. He listened. He asked some hard questions, but I was kinda expecting that. We went over my past, what i’ve done, how i feel and all that lovely stuff. Anyway he doesn’t really have a name for what I have. He’s calling it "an ability to not controll emotions". I like that he didn’t label me. He’s given me some meds. I’ve now got Prozac and Valium. I don’t have the money for them today, i’m hoping i might be able to borrow from mum until friday when I get paid. I’m hoping that this is going to help me. I really am. After all that worry, it went ok. He’s going to refer me to a therapist as well as seeing him. I’ve got an appointment to see him 21st of next month.