Depression affects everything. I hate depression, I hate feeling this way. Does anyone understand?

I wanted to go to work, and I feel bad for calling out but I feel I can't go to work becuz of my mood, I wear my feelings on my face and I am so depressed I didn't thinkk I could handle work. I wish I could go to my sons game but I hate being alone and cant stand just sitting there. My bf is his coach, so he'll b ok. I just hope I get out of these feelings I feel very soon. I am probably gonna get fired cuz they kept calling and I didnt answer. I didnt want to face them becuz I was scared. I hate this so much.

I also hate feeling "needy" I feel so needy now and it sucks. I feel like I want so much more out of the relationships I do have – example mom, sister, aunt, dad, friend. I feel like it would b better if I just wasnt around. I also hate wishing I had more friends. I try and feel I get rejected and I wonder how I come across to them. Do they see me as needy and desperate? How do you shake off the feelings of neediness and desperation? Why don't I hate a lot more friends? I am thinking of cancelling my facebook cuz it is a waste of time. I try to reach out, but doesn't seem to go anywhere. 

 I get hurt when I see my old "friend" writing on my sister wall everyday and vice versa. Ya, my sister decides she wants to steal my friend. I was very close with my old friend. I really valued our friendship. I reach out to her now, and she doesnt really respond but yet, my sister and her are the best of friends. My sister used to tell me I need to find more friends and when I finally do, she goes ahead and befriends them overly. She even hosted her baby shower and goes to her house every week for  a "book meeting. and also keep in mind my sister has TONS of friends. She never had a problem in that department. This is one of the reason I am depressed, because of my sister.

OH well

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