I don't think it takes a genius to figure out what's going on with my eating habits. Over the weekend I eat like a horse just like I used to in my pre PTSD days. I don't eat junk I just eat a lot. I have a good healthy appetite most of the time. Come Sunday night and then Monday the appetite is gone. I mean there is no appetite whatsovever. I have to force myself to have a small sandwich and a bit of salad or soup. I take in maybe 300 calories at lunch. Then there's dinner. The thought of having to go to work the next day usually is enough to completely strip me of any appetite. Sometimes I just have to go with a Smoothie. I did that twice last week. I couldn't eat. I used to weigh about 225 lbs – in my profile picture (from a couple of years back) I weigh over 200 lbs. I'm now at about 175. So it doesn't really take a genius to figure out that when I can eat two huge Subways on a Saturday afternoon and have to resort to Ensure on a Tuesday evening that work, or the thought of work is causing me tremendous anxiety. What can I do though? Two doctors have already told me that I need to leave this very high stress job. But how? How am I supposed to find a new job in an economy like this? This job is killing me. I mean every minute I spend here is one long nightmare, but what option do I have? I have been looking for other jobs, but there is so little out there. I would take a %50 cut in pay. I'd give up my car. I don't care. This job with Heinrich Himmler as my boss is just tearing me apart. I'd even take a desk job back in the army – no I wouldn't. I couldn't. I'd take just about anything else though. This is NOT the job for a person in my condition.

1 Comment
  1. pixieflower 14 years ago

    I know the feeling with eating, anxiety and stress. I eat alot and I've gained weight. Its just tough all around. My doctors also told me to quit one of my two jobs but I cant with my money issues. So I know where you are coming from.

    Jack, you need to take care of yourself. If you think this job is killing you maybe you need to find another job, less money or whatever you need to do. You might lose money, but there is always other options out there. Get a cheaper car! Lowering your stress will really benieft you! But you do whatever you can do feel and do better.

    Wishing you good luck!

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