I went to my doctor's today. My appointment was actually for 9:20AM but I had confused it for 9:30AM. Luckily, my doctor still took me in and spoke with me I apologized and told him it wouldn't happen again.

I told him that I am going to start my seasonal job soon and that I am distracted at work. I told him about how I always think far too much, how I'm always concerned of what others think of me, and how bad last year was for me.

He remembered my OCD, thankfully, and wants to try me on Paxil! That's possibly the only anti-depressant I haven't tried. He says it treats both anxiety and OCD – since he thinks I need to target them both. It costs about $45.00 for a month's supply. It stinks that I'm not covered.

He also gave me another set of anxiety pills since he warns me it will take awhile for the paxil to kick in. These pills will soothe the anxiety during work while I wait for the effects of it to kick in. (Like most anti-depressants.) But they both say that can cause drowiness, so I need to take them before work starts and see what sort of an effect they have on me. (They can make me feel more awake, too.)

I know others have taken paxil here, too. If you guys read this blog, can you let me know your own experiences with it! My biggest fear is losing my sex drive. Fluvaomine caused it to decrease entirely. Hopefully this one won't that much! I like my sex life. 🙁 I've also read that it may be able to increase one's weight, and I REALLY DO NOT want that. I've spent the last year keeping my weight at a healthy level, I DO NOT want to gain it all back!!!

Anyway, depending on how everything goes, this can be a real life changer for me. Sad I had to resort to medications…but when you're sick with something incurable, well, you have to take it. In my case, my anxiety was over riding my life, I would never resort to taking it if I didn't feel the pain in my stomach from being so anxious, or the fear of having violent, intrusive thoughts.

I'll keep everyone posted on how this will all play out.