Hello ! I’m new to this website.I'm looking up at this website and was nice to read blogs of people who have same problem like I have…And since it is my first blog ever..I’d like to share my “first stroke of OCD”…
It was back in 2001, when I had first attack of OCD.
A month earlier…my uncle had returned from USA and brought me some “neon” accessories.
It was bright and no one knew about it in our street. I was so happy and excited. I showed it to all of my friends and was proud to have it. But I wish I had known that piece of pride would make me fall into horrible trap of OCD…I was playing with it one day…and somehow it broke down… and some jelly liquid like thing came out of it. I touched it and then somehow a thought popped in my mind saying –“Put your hand in your mouth if you want your small brother to be safe”. I was so horrified and quickly kept my hand in my mouth.
And that’s when the things started up for me… after putting my hand in my mouth…I had thought that now I am going to die… *it was a poisonous “liquid”…you are history now…you’ll loose every thing…your family …your friends…you won’t be living any more*. I was so afraid and I washed my mouth as many times as I could and drank lots of water hoping that liquid would be diluted and it’s effect could be neutralized. And since then…I’m still living but yet not “living”…
It was like a *bully* born within me… I have to do everything it orders….if I won’t then something bad might happen… I went to doctors…religious doctors… still can’t get out of it. This bully just doesn’t go.
So that was the first stroke of OCD on me .
Thank you so much for reading and would love to know about yours *first stroke of ocd *.
Thanks!
Welcome to the Tribe!
Sadly my first stroke of ocd occured when I was married and lived in an area where I had no friends or support. We were pretty unstable financially and I developed a fear of pregnancy. Later I was diagnosed with ocd. I ended up pushing my husband away despite attempts to get better and the marriage ended in divorce. I tried to work on it but he just shut off and didn't help me. Can't say I blame him but that was my first stroke with ocd. Thank you for being so brave and sharing.
Hey! Thanks…
sorry to hear about your divorce…OCD is a monster that eats up every thing around us…and we are helpless…but we shouldn't loose our hope…and fight against it…cause there must be light at the end of this darkness…we must keep on moving…
Hope !all of us here will get to the end of this darkness soon!
Welcome to the site! The bully that is OCD sucks! but it can get better-hang in there–try and win small battles, one step at a time–it does work. Dont get discouraged if you take a step back, just as long as you keep going forward overall.