Never done a blog before, so here it goes!

I woke up this morning after a slightly odd dream where I was advisingmy housemate to get with a woman who was flirting with,in her own house as her husband was busy having sexwith a bear that was dressed like a woman… Odd eh? The worst thing was that I woke out of the dream thinking that I had heard my txt message ringtone, which, up until 2 days ago meant that my girlfriend was txting me; so I checked my phone and there was nothing. Little bit of a depressing start to the day but oh well, I wrote down the dream as I want to get into trying to lucid dreaming again. It also took my mind off the ex for a bit.

It is really odd, my anxiety seems to have gone down quite a bit after getting dumped, almostlike the depression has just pushed it out.Either that or my mind hasjust turned to something else for a while…

It's day two of the antidepressants (Citalopram, 20mg) with no major side affects yet, slightly drowsy perhaps, but nothing too bad.

I realised yesterday that I owe £175 worth of bills to the electricity, gas and water companies, soI think I will have to finally bite the bullet andget a bail out from my dad… I'mseeing him this Sunday so will be able to talk to him then.

Inso many waysit feels like my life is out of control right now. It all started happening about 4 months ago when I blew allof my birthday money and student loan onprojects that wherecompletely hairbrained and impossible. Then I stopped smoking cannabis thank god, as I was starting to have delusions. The next few months where ok as I met Chloe, aka my ex; and promptly fell in love. Trouble is that she had only been out of her past relationship for about a week or something, so I was essentially the rebound… That lasted for 2 months…. Fucks sake….

I guess I need to stop looking back though and focus on my life now. Feeling good again, sorting out my money, getting ready for second year of Electronic Engineering, etc. It's just so damn hard… I think that I will get myself a counsillor soonish as the Uni provides a free service for students and talk some of this stuff out.

Anyways, today I'm seeing an old friend whos coming down to clear out her old house, so that will be cool and will hopefully take my mind off the ex girlfriend and all the other poo… Then tomorrow I'm heading home for a week to chill out at the mothers house.

There tis, first blog!

Over and out.