Okay boys and girls, i have not blogged for a while because i have been sitting back reading all of this F#@king Whining going on. for those of you just sitting around in your big piles of S@#t, it's time to take a true look at how you are approaching your disease of addiction. are you going to 90 or more meetings in 90 days? have you found a sponsor yet? have you started working the 12 steps? No you say? I have a very serious and hard nosed approach to my Recovery. you did not become addicted in one day so what makes you think you can become recovered in one day? i spent 22 yrs of my life using. i have almost 21 yrs clean. how have i managed to get to where i am? one F#@king day at a time. I am not here to make friends although i have made quite a few true friends since being on here.

there is no easier softer way to get into Recovery than the 12 step program of your choice. remember that nothing changes if nothing changes. if you are not in Recovery for yourselves then your beating a dead horse. you need to stop worrying about what people think of you and worry about what you think of you. stop worrying about what your friends will think. if they do not support you and respect the fact you want to change your life for the better then they are just leeches and not true friends. you are in this for Life. you can't get clean just to think that after a while you can successfully use again. Using for people like us is to die. i have been through jails, institutions and even came back from the dead. in the past 3 years i have had 2 heart attacks and 3 heart surgeries.

I may have turned 20 in recovery last year but 2009 was the worst year of my life. in febuary i lost an Uncle, also in febuary a 25yr member of NA was murdered 4 days after his NA b-day, in April my wife's 12 yr old German Shepard had to be put down from cancer, may 1st my brother in law who had 3 yrs clean died from pancreatic cancer, 6 days after we returned from Alaska to get my 20yr coin my Dad who lived with me for 5 yrs died. 6 days after we returned from having him inturned in PA my mom died. in october one of my sponsees who had 15 yrs in Recovery committed suicide. my dog attacked my great nephew and we had to put him down, 2 days before Xmas my aunt passed away to this disease. i won't even bother to go through all the medical crap i went through last year. but through all of that I DID NOT USE. so do not tell me you have a good excuse to use. if i can walk through all the above without picking up, you can do the same. if i did not have compassion for my fellow addict i would not be wasting my time typing this.

so from this Dinosaur stopping bitching about how F#@king miserable your poor pathetic lives are an get off your ass and do something about it. nobody said this was going to be a walk in the damn park. you think you've got F#@king problems we have not been through? grow the hell up and do what you have to, to get clean and stay clean. nothing changes if nothing changes. get your asses to a meeting and LISTEN. if you happen to think this was a bit hard then tough s#@t. it was meant to be. you are not unique. your are a product of God. so why not hit your knees and pray to the God of your understanding. then put the program into action in your life. to be reachable you have to stay teachable. it's okay to climb on the pity pot once in a while but if you don't flush it occasionally you'll be sitting on the biggest pile of sh*#t and it's hard to get off. Recovery is a JOurney not a Destination and use the rest stops God provides along the way.

NA hugs,

JJ