so ill start with the good news my moms surgery went well and shes on her way to recovery itll be about 6weeks i spent the whole day at the hospital then left once she was in her room and ready for sleep only to go home and get a message on my facebook from a half uncle on my dads side who i havent heard from in years only to contact him i get some horrible news that his mother commited suicide 2months ago and hes been trying to get in contact with my dad and my brothers i was shocked she was the sweetest lady i cant understand why she would do such a thing i mean she loved my horrible evil grandpa and im not even kidding he was evil i think hes only alive beacuse they say evil lives forever he use to abuse my father and grandma terrible things were done to them and my dad left at 13 to live in cars and the street then under his roof only to join the army at 18 both of them got out and to think hed find a woman like her to love him is beyond me i thought she was a saint he stopped the abuse but was still a verbal abuser not so much to her but to my dad and his 2new kids who are now my step uncles so i asked him if she could put up with my grandpa for all those years why now he said that his younger brother is sick in the head he left home and moved out of state to go to college and probaly to get away from his dad well he said that his younger brother had been abusing his mother for awhile and no one new it must have been horrible to have your own son beat you i cant help but feel so horrible inside that i had no contact and no way of helping this wonderful woman i feel in shock and i want to cry so bad but i cant and idk why its so messed up why did this have to happen to such a nice woman and that she had no strength to reach out for help and i cant help but blaim myself a little for not contacting them in so long but then i also know that its not my fault that i can say all the what ifs in the world but it wouldnt bring her back but i still feel this is such a tragedy my family is so messed up or at least that half its a little scary to think about it so yea that was my dad good news to horrible news i dont know how to really handle this i still remember how nice she was i was attacked by a dog when i was like 7 and she was there with me the whole time at the hospital through the stitches and everything i sat on her lap and after we got a happy meal at mc donalds ill never forget that even now R.I.P alice ill always love and remember you

-kate