hellooo everyone, hows u all doing?
I dont mean to blow my own trumpet but..im am so happy with myself. Im doing so many positive things,all the while FEELING positive and it is doing me alot of good. I havent felt this way in a long time, Truth be told, i cant remember the last time i felt this good.I realy keep wondering why i kept fucking things up for myself when i felt this good in the past? Well the only answer i can come up with for that one is that im not sure i have actually felt this good in the past…
Im exercising too, something i have never done, even in school when we had P.E classes i never used to do them, Now i am doing 10 mins a day on the stationary bike and 20 sit-ups, i know its not alot but its alot for me since i never even walk! and speaking of walking im starting going walking every evening with my neighbour next week. I want to get fit and loose a bit of weight too. I was lucky for a long time , i could eat any crap i wanted all day long and i never put on weight but now im definatley noticing that my body isnt what it used to be. Im not going to go mad with the exercising or anything i just want to tone up really. Im 135 pounds at the moment, i would like to be 120lbs, i want to get back into the modelling. I did some photograpic modelling before but i havent done anything in a while (for obvious reasons LOL)
God i feel ready to take on the world at the moment!
Im even thinking of reducing my dose of anti-depressants, im on 30mg a dat now , but the tablets im taking come in a 15mg dose so once my medical card comes through im going to talk to the doc about reducing with a long term goal of eventually coming off the althoghter..if i do ok on the lower dose obviously.
Just thinking about the medical card i have to mention that i am extreemly lucky to have certain people in my life , looking out for me, For one my probation officer, she is sooo good to me. Ok traditionally P.O's are supposed to just make sure your stayin out of trouble etc but mine is so good to me. She rings and texts me to make sure im doing ok all the time, i told her my medical card was out of date and she spent all last wed on the phone and is after getting in touch with someone who is going to process my form immeadiatley so i will have a medical number to see the doc with, she says i will have it by the middle of next week, Plus a whole bunch of other stuff she has done for me. I might be wrong but that seems above and beyond the call of duty.