Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:

'Dr. Jones, at your cervix.'

**************************

In a Podiatrist's office:

Time Wounds All Heels.

**************************

On a Septic Tank Truck:

Yesterday's Meals–on Wheels

**************************

At a Proctologist's door:

To expedite your visit, please back in.

**************************

On a Plumber's truck:

We Repair What Your Husband Fixed

**************************

On another Plumber's truck:

Don't sleep with a drip; Call your plumber!

**************************

On a Church's Billboard:

7 days without God makes one weak.

**************************

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:

Invite us to your next blowout.

**************************

At a Towing company:

We don't charge an arm and a leg:  We want tows.

**************************

On an Electrician's truck:

Let Us Remove Your Shorts

**************************

In a Nonsmoking Area:

If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.

**************************

On a Maternity Room door:

Push. Push. Push!

**************************

At an Optometrist's Office:

If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.

**************************

On a Taxidermist's window:

We really know our stuff.

**************************

On a Fence:

Salesmen Welcome! Dog Food Is Expensive!

**************************

At a Car Dealership:

The best way to get back on your feet: miss a car payment.

**************************

Outside a Muffler Shop:

No appointment necessary; We hear you coming.

**************************

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:

Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

**************************

At the Electric Company

We will be de-lighted if you send in your payment.

However, if you don't, you will be.

**************************

In a Restaurant window:

Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in

 and get fed up.

**************************

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:

Drive carefully! We'll wait…

**************************

At a Propane Filling Station:

Thank heaven for little grills.

**************************

And don't forget the sign at a

CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP:

Best place in town to take a leak

      **********************

Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:

CAUTION – This Truck is Full of Political Promises

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