Hello all, I am new.  I was searching for some support, and I decided to come here.  My name is Shaina, I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now.  We used to do meth together, for probably the 1st year.  When I met him shit was surrounding us, our friends, our job, it was the lifestyle.  I could tell he was into it heavily, and I just did it when it was there.  I was over it and did not like the way I was when I was on it, so I stopped.  Except for periodicly, every few months.  Last xmas I had a really bad binge for a few days and got so sick I swore to myself never again.  Well he has continued to use on a daily basis, throughout our relationship, and now I have come to the point where, its us or meth.  We went to our 1st na meeting about a week ago and I've never seen him feel that good about himself.  He started opening up more and told me he wanted to go back.  Now I still feel like I dont want to force anything, and realize that if he doesnt have the desire to quit he wont.  We havent been back yet. I am trying to overcome my constant worry and concern for him and us.  Trying hard not to wonder, go through his stuff, listen to him in the bathroom(while hes in there for an hour), and be a total parinoid freak.  It only puts me in a total and constant state of anxiety and dismay.  So I have told him many times in the recent past that he has to show me what is important to him.  I try to stand back and let him do what he thinks is right, while still supporting him.  I try to encourage going to meetings and reminding him that honesty works best with me.  It seems like such a long road ahead.  If he chooses to get help(fully) and kick the shit, I'm so willing to be there through all of it.   If not , I cannot go on with this in my life, my house, and will not allow this corroision of my heart.